Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My cat gives me a boner
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
