just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
