So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
did you just send me my own nude
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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