great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
