i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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