Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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