don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
