I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
