she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize