I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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