I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I won the penis lottery.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
