It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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