she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
