I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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