I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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