no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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