Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Randomize
