y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
