we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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