Porn is love you can see.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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