The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
