I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
