hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
