so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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