Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
