I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
