So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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