Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
