I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize