you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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