You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
