BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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