I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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