I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
