how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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