I wanna bring you to show and tell
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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