walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
