i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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