Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
