so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
