All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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