There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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