i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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