he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
