oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
