then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize