I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
