Non-Jews are for practice
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
