Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
im holly from the hills drunk
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
