i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize