I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
