dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
