Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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