i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize