Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
