drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
