so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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