A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You took a bar mat shot.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Found the puke drawer
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
