I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
