This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
