please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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