I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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