I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
