i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize