we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I wish I only lived at night.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
