i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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